Peacechild: What factors of your native culture have informed your religious world view? Explain the impact of these factors.

First Entry:

This is admittedly the most difficult piece that I have had to write since-forever(?) Trying to be honest...now that's a challenge.

I've lived most of the "important" years of development in sunny California, but never did I have an identity crisis before. I am a Korean. It has just been that way. I labeled myself a Korean and have taken pride in that for the longest time. Perhaps it's because I recognized at a young age that no matter what I did, no matter how American I acted, I would never truly be accepted as an American. No one was going to ask me, "Are you American?" but rather the query, "Where are you from?" Thus, I have stayed Korean, but that didn't stop me from experiencing the US. During my time in America, I absorbed American customs while celebrating Korean traditions as well. The only factor in which I did not follow one or the other was religion.

One of Korea's major religion is Buddhism; my family comes from a long line of traditional Buddhists and my grandmothers are both avid temple-goers. However, my mother and father never really followed the customary values and never educated us (my siblings and me) to follow any sort of religion. I suppose there were also two cultural factors which affected me; 1. many Koreans are not religion-bound and 2. Koreans in general are education-centered. In fact, while my mother imparted her knowledge of what Buddhism was, she handed me a Bible to read in the fourth grade. "It's good for you," she said. My parents were about education, not religion. They did not direct me on values or beliefs, instead, they presented me with whatever the world offered. I responded with the flexibility that is parallel in almost all children and learned. Later, that learning would evolve into an understanding. I reacted to my peers in the same way, I listened and learned, but I remained unmoved. To me, religion was just an amalgamation of different morals to be learned.

Then, I thought, "How is it that everyone believes in something, but can't come up with a consensus on the truth?"

I guess this was the point where I thought up my religious views of the world according to what I saw anyways: I believe that all people are made up of the same essence. The foundation of emotions. All people feel sadness, happiness, love, hate, hopefulness, disappointment, catharsis. Although people may feel at different times, from different catalysts, and in different ways, I believe that everyone feels the same basic emotions: the common factor in all people. This is where the concept of God comes in. If all people feel the same emotions, they would feel the same need for someone more powerful than them, a reassurance of a kind in life. They would feel the same need for morals. The same need for an immortality within a fleeting existence. The same need for hope. The same need for purpose in life. That is where I believe religion plays a role, differing according to the cultural differences and physical needs of those from the region. In short, I believe in the congruous inevitability of the human mind. I believe in the limitations of the human thought, not the omniscience of God.

But what does that matter? That's just my belief, which is pretty petty in comparison to the magnitude of Truth. And it may or may not be the truth.

When I came to Korea, religion became a minute factor in a dizzying culture. Yes, I thought myself a Korean, but I wasn't expecting the culture shock that I received, regardless. The patriarchal, conservative country based upon confucianism was the antithesis from the liberal America I was used to. Having attended a Korean school for about an year, I found that religion rarely played a significant role in the lives of other students. Instead, my peers were driven by academic ambitions. God was an evanescent figure who appeared once in awhile before and after exams. That was the easiest time religion-wise for me. No one asked and no one cared.

I first faced difficulties in my atheism when I entered TCIS. Taejon Christian International School. I felt I was prepared to come: chapel, Christian teachers and peers, Bible class and the likes. I had Christian friends in the past, I had read the Bible several times, and I knew the basics of Christianity. I was ready to fit in. What I wasn't prepared for was a school centered around a belief entirely contrasting with mine. That was hard.

It's been an ongoing journey for me. There have been rather distinct ups-and-downs for me here, and although I may have struggled with them at times, I appreciate them all now that I look back on them. Although they may not have made me a Christian, those experiences have made me a little more open-minded and have given me more options to investigate.

I don't rule out the Christian view. Really, I don't rule out any perspectives. Any one of them may be true, and I respect them all. But my goal is not to accumlulate as many thoughts as possible. It is to find the truth. Or at least, my truth.

Fortunately, what is true doesn't change, and I just need to keep on looking. I plan on doing so.